My name is Martino Bergström. I am just like you: I'm a pervert, I'm lonely and emotionally shut-off, and I touch myself in shameful ways for others to see. I'm not a porn star- I'm just a slut. I enjoy things like being sexually harassed and burning bibles.

As a child, I served the Lord every Sunday. Nonetheless, I give in to dirty temptations as often as I possibly can. Now that I am grown I know how to get down and dirty, on my hands and knees, and serve like only a real church boy can.

Your future husband,

Martino Bergström